Why does a female's success and wealth put pressure on other aspects of her life?

Episode 2: Chronicles of the High Powered Female CEO with Jodie Stirling

#FemaleCEOChronicles

These conversations are crucial in giving women everywhere permission to carve our own sovereign path, release the pressure and compartmentalization, and instead lead with wholeness and heart.

INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPTION

Melisa Keenan 00:25

Hey everyone! Welcome to The Chronicles of the High Powered Female CEO. And you know, any of you that know me or have followed me for any period of time know that the reason I'm doing this is because my heart is in the home and in the family. And I think we've lost that in our society in a lot of ways. And it's so important that we bring it back. That's why I'm having these conversations with millionaire women who have created what they've created and talking to them about how we can get the heart and home back into our streams of discussion, back into our lives, back into the conversation, even surrounding our businesses and what makes a woman successful. Because we know that we don't feel fulfilled when we're making all this success, with no true intimate connections in our lives.

So today, I'm bringing you, Jodie Stirling. And Jodie Stirling is from Bath in the UK. She is currently putting together a multi-author book called Hospitable Hosts. This is a global project with submissions from around the world in the short-term rental industry. She said ie Airbnb, and I appreciated that because she said they don't like to be called that, but I really didn't know the short term, hospitable, etc, etc. There, she has been involved in this industry for the past four years. She's also always been a millionaire but didn't realize it until recently. So let's go ahead and welcome Jodie today.

Jodie Stirling 02:05

Hi, Melissa.

Melisa Keenan 02:07

Hi, welcome. Thank you so much for being willing to come on to the show today. And you know, Jodie, and I just met, like a week ago, and really had our first conversation today. And as we were talking, it was like, Well, wait a minute. How long have you been calling yourself a millionaire? Because what she and her husband has have created. They have been millionaires since they've been together. When did you and your husband get married?

Jodie Stirling 02:40

We've been married 23 years this year in August. So a lifetime.

Melisa Keenan 02:48

It's beautiful. I love it. And it's rare today. Right? It's rare.

Jodie Stirling 02:53

I do. I do believe it is. Yeah.

Melisa Keenan 02:56

So much of your life. Jodie, you shared that you prioritize being a stay-at-home mom.

“I feel that I been very privileged in this society that we have at the moment that I didn't feel the pressure to race back to work”

Jodie Stirling 03:06

Yeah, I did. I was really fortunate to be in a position where I could we could survive on one salary, my husband's had a really great job, and so did I. At the time that I had my first child, we just decided that that's what we wanted to do with our children was just to be a stay-at-home mom, why do we say that? Just to be a stay-at-home mom. And, you know, be there for every step of the way that we could. So I was, I feel that I been very privileged in this society that we have at the moment that I didn't feel the pressure to race back to work, not just financially, but that was the expectation of me, not only from my husband, because a lot of husbands I think have that expectation these days. But, my family they were very supportive as well. And also my boss, he realized that that's what I wanted to do. So they just let me do what I wanted to do. I didn't feel the pressure from anybody.

Melisa Keenan 04:21

That's beautiful. That's great. And yeah, as we talked, it was interesting to hear, you know, some of these things that we say, right? Like just to stay at home mom, and to, you know, look at this and go Well wait a minute, okay, if you're a stay at home mom and in some of the experiences that you had and supporting your husband in his career, and raising your family and taking your family all over the globe, following that career, you were a millionaire the whole time too. But why doesn't society say that? Why do instead you know, if you had died, your husband would have had to go back home and rely maybe on his family or on other supports. Right? So your contribution was literally just as valid. So isn't that fascinating? What do you think about that, Jodie?

Jodie Stirling 05:17

Yeah, I do. I totally agree with you. And, you know, and I think it's not just from the men that have that expectation. It's also from the women as well. So I do remember going to functions with my husband and I was a stay-at-home mom. And I was meeting people because he was in the corporate sector and quite high up and I was meeting other women as well. And they would say to me, Oh, God, what do you do? And for sheer badness, really, I would say, Oh, I'm just a mom. And they would literally turn their back on me. That's no word of a lie. I've heard that. And I just stood there laughing because she didn't know how to interact with me because I was just a mom, you know, but I had been in her position in my earlier days, but it was my choice to do this. So yeah, it's really interesting how society does box you into these little corners of how you're supposed to be as an entrepreneur, as somebody who's making money as a wife, as a mother, as a female. So yeah, I yeah, I experienced that. Quite a lot.

“They asked “what do you do?” and when I said I'm just a mom, they would literally turn their back on me. That's no word of a lie. I've heard that.”

Melisa Keenan 06:43

And so, when you made the decision to do this collaborative multi-author book, now you run many short, you call them short term, hospitality rentals.

Jodie Stirling 06:59

Rentals is a short-term rental industry.

Melisa Keenan 07:03

Gotcha. You made the decision then to do this book, and you automatically began to magnetize some real power players in this industry, right? Tell me about what that was like for you.

Jodie Stirling 07:17

It was amazing, actually. So what happened it was we’re locked down here in the UK. And all my properties were all full because we had people who were stuck in the UK and couldn't leave. We had a couple from the US. Another one from India. So they're all full. And I was just kind of searching around for things that I could do. Because I like to be busy. And I started looking on clubhouse, I don't know if you know, clubhouse for rooms that I could just go into and about Airbnb. And I thought, Gosh, I wonder if there's anyone be talking about Airbnb. And lo and behold, there was this whole industry, this whole group of people that I'd never even heard of before, because I was just doing my thing.

Here in the country, you know, from the training that I had from when I was in hospitality in my younger years. That's what I was using in my now business. And so I started meeting all these people and listening to these people. And they were on the stage saying, Oh, I'm the industry expert. And I do this and I do this, and I do this. And I thought, well hang on a minute. I do that. And I do that. And I do that too. So does that make me an industry expert? And so I had just participated in a multi-author book, myself with a group of 24 amazing ladies that I didn't know I connected with them online. And I thought, well, how can I bring this into something that I do on a day-to-day basis, and because of what I got out of it, I just loved all the connection. And it was in a time right when we were all sitting at home. Those connections weren't the physical connections that weren't being made. And in my life, we have always traveled like, we were away all the time.

“I do feel if you have the right support, and the right network of people around you, then, you know, life is just easier life that we're supposed to be connecting with people.”

This is the longest we've sat in one country over a period of time. So I started reaching out to these people and just had, you know, listening to what they had to say. And I realized I was doing similar things to what they were. And so I came up with the idea. I reached out to the publisher, and I started connecting. So I'm not only calling the people for the book, I started creating my own network of people. And that's what I really did this book for, is to be able to connect with these people and collaborate and build a community. And there are women, there are men in there. And I do believe this industry, there's a lot more men, which is great. But now that I've been bringing people into the book, I've met a lot more women, and there is a real, there is a lot of growth around women doing this role.

So yeah, I've just loved every minute of it, I've loved all the conversations with all the contributors, learning about their stories and why they got into the industry. And because it's one of those industries where you can be really successful. If you do a bit of groundwork, a lot of people think, Oh, I've just got this property. And I'm going to put it on Airbnb. And I'm going to make, you know, seven figures, because there are a lot of people out there professing that, you know, that's what's going to happen, that there is a lot of work behind it. But I do feel if you have the right support, and the right network of people around you, then, you know, life is just easier, a life that we're supposed to be connecting with people. And I'm just myself, I don't have a strategy of how to get people in, I just reach out if I see somebody I like. I mean to energy. So if I like somebody's energy, I can pick up on that straight away. And if we have an instant connection, then I invite them into the book.

So I have tried to be really choosy to be able to get the right group of people together as well because I felt that was really important for the success of the book. And what I'm trying to do is, as in build the community, yeah. And it's been great. It really has been great.

Melisa Keenan 12:23

I think that's so neat. And I had shared with you before we went live that it says something about, we don't call the stay-at-home mom, a millionaire even though she and her husband have generated millions. But it says something about the energy that you have been in and lived in, you could step into this. And so easily just have success in attracting these authors and creating this whole collaboration in this network. And it says something right? It's like you were already operating at that higher vibration. And so I think that this…

I'm so glad like serendipitously, Jodie and I were connected and you know, she serendipitously ended up as the second episode of this. I think it's so perfect because again, the heart and home have been lost in a lot of conversations but not for you and not for your life.

I just want to get to know and get to know you a little bit better and like I always say you know you share as personally as you feel to that's fine, whatever, share but what have you felt like have been your greatest achievements in your life so far?

“We don't call the stay at home mom, a millionaire even though she and her husband have generated millions”

Jodie Stirling 13:42

Well, my greatest number one achievement is my family. I am all for my family, I have raised three really decent, kind, gentle human beings that I am proud to call my children. So two of them are off at university and that was actually quite heartbreaking because you, as a little you think these days are going to go on forever. And you know, you have your good days and your bad days and you get up each morning and you know, it's a new day. But then you work so hard to create this or to not create, to guide this human, to being a good person. Like a really decent human decent kind human being. And then they leave and it's so sad.

However, it's also so exciting because you see them blossom. You see their relationships, you see that their growth now and then not with you but I know if you build that closeness in all those years leading up to this point, they always come back. And they do. So just before I got on a call with you, I had my daughter ringing me, Mom, you got to come and get me. I had my son call me, is two hours away, and his bike has been stolen from universities. Oh my gosh, and your heart goes out to them. So what do you think is the best thing to do? Jack? You know, what do you want to do about this? So I don't think you ever stop being a mum at all, ever. I know with my own mom, I'm really close to her. And she's still a mum, we walk out to go for a walk with the dog. Do you have your coat? Won't you be cold? Do you need your beanie? Do you think you should bring some gloves in? Have you eaten enough? You know, and you feel yourself doing that with your own now young adult children, and you have to stop yourself. You really do, Because I can just hear my mom, we might as well.

It's not that I don't want to be my mom, because my mom is gorgeous. But um, I'm trying to, you know, just step back. And it's been the hardest thing ever, for me. So to answer it, that was a long City Hall in London. My number one is my family. And I feel really privileged that I've been in a position that I've been, I've watched every milestone, I've been in every school play. I've been at the football field. in the hockey field, in gymnastics, and other music that goes on. And I've been able to do everything with them. And I would never change it for the world. And now it's now they're floating off and doing their thing. Now I'm floating in and doing my thing. So, which is the book and my business, And no, there's there is time for all of that.

I believe you don't have to, you know, rush into a career and get to a point that then you think, Oh, I'm going to have children. Because I think a lot of women do get to that point. And their bodies are not ready to have children anymore. And I'm not saying that children are super young. But I don't think we're told that either side, you know, Career, career, career first, and then children come. But for a lot of women that I know that happened, that they went down that path, they never ended up having a family, they left it too late.

“If you build that closeness with your kids, it in all those years leading up to this point, they always come back.”

Melisa Keenan 17:55

I love that you're bringing this in. Because more and more often I'm seeing women who are refusing to settle for that narrative, that timeline of life. And whether they're in corporate and they're saying to their employer right now and the great resignation, right? They're saying like, Hey, um, I know that I need flexibility. I know, when my hours are best, and I'm going to be my best for you. And I know when I'm not going to be my best for you because I'm going to be distracted thinking about how I want to be at the soccer game right now or whatever.

So like, work with me, and I will work for you and I will be amazing for you, right? Or they're saying, You know what, I'm going to find a career like I did. That supports me being both being all and in all and incorporating of it, you know, days I work from home and days when my kids are sick or whatever. It's like, Hey, I tell my clients, like I may have a kiddo pop in here. And we just put our arms around them and they join in, in whatever capacity because they're gifts. They're not burdens right to the world.

Jodie Stirling 19:02

Absolutely, and we've all got them. I'll tell you a really awful story that I'm not very proud of now. But it makes you laugh. And this will show you the pressure that I was under as a young mom to really perform. So on the phone, so I was at home but I was on a work call. I had two young children under two. And one of them was crawling up my leg as I'm trying to stand them. We didn't have video calling. Thank goodness, but I was trying to sound professional, you know? And I just had to do something to get him off my leg. And so I went to the cupboard. And I got little these little biscuits in Australia. They're called Tiny Teddy's. They're little tiny Teddy's and my kids didn't have all that stuff but only for special treats. I got them, like, I open them was on the call and threw them across the room. So they would both crawl like one was only crawling, and then they would be sitting there. And that's all and I could see it going all over the carpet. But I was having my call.

Now, that is so ridiculous when I look back now. And by the time my daughter was born, which was only a couple more years after I was out of all work. But I do think things are changing, like I, you know, my husband's doing corporate and, you know, we sit opposite each other when we work at this desk, and I can hear what's going on in his background and his world. And there are women that he works with and their child or bring come in, and now it's even acceptable, suitable for the guys to say, look, I've got to go to the school run, I'm at home. So I do think companies, that's, you know, an amazing thing out of this pandemic, I think companies, businesses have learned to be flexible, and learn that they do really need to look after you know, their employees, be them female, or males and realize that no life needs to get in the way. And you can't just be pushed away. So I do think things are changing.

So for the next generations, I, you know, coming through, I hope that that does still hang around because there's nothing better than supporting your family and being there for your family. You know, there's no shame in it. You know, I'm a mom, who cares. That's the greatest gift that I could have ever been the greatest job that I could have ever taken up was to be a mom. Yeah, definitely. And I can't wait to have grandchildren now that I know my grandchildren. But you know, it starts all over again.

“I think companies, and businesses have learned to be flexible, and learn that they do really need to look after their employees, female, or male, and realize that no life needs to get in the way. And you can't just be pushed away.”

Melisa Keenan 22:08

I know for the mothers listening to it's like, hey, it's time to stop apologizing for your kids like, for the fact that you have kids, for the fact that your kids are home, for the fact that you know your kids are a part of your life in your world, and that you want to work your schedule around the things with your kids, it's time to stop apologizing. And you know, how you've lived your life is a beautiful example of what's really possible where we can have it all. And not everyone's going to have the exact situation that Jodie has had, right? With her husband and some of these different aspects. But we can all create something new. And we have that opportunity now in ways that we, I think never had before, especially because of the internet. So Jodie, thank you so much for coming on and sharing is there any last thing that you feel called to share?

Jodie Stirling 23:01

Well, I do have a… My life motto is just to go with the flow, and just keep moving forward. It seems to be something that I do quite naturally. And it's only really recently that I realized that I do this. But if I can just yet put it out there to anybody who wants to listen, you know, just be yourself. You don't have to be anything else but yourself. Embrace your family, if that's the path that you're going to go down. And you know, your time will come, your time is now whether it's with children, without children, whatever path decide to take to just be happy. Just be joyful, be happy. Find what makes your heart sing.

Melisa Keenan 23:56

Thank you so much, Jodie. Beauty. Beautiful, beautiful. Thank you everyone for watching.

Jodie Stirling 24:03

Thanks, bye. Thanks for having me.