Sometimes it's our own inner voice that lays on the most pressure as we create success in our lives. But then again, we learned to talk to ourselves that way after a lifetime of hearing, even subliminally, these messages drilled into us... of course, we've internalized them.

Join me today for Episode 4 of Chronicles of the High Powered Female CEO with Holly Ketcham Kjar as she beautifully and vulnerably shares how she runs 2 massively successful businesses and homeschools her 6 children

Go and subscribe to her wildly successful youtube channel: https://youtube.com/c/TheKJARCrew

Episode 4: Chronicles of the High Powered Female CEO with Holly Kjar

#FemaleCEOChronicles

INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPTION

Melisa Keenan 00:24

Hi, everyone. Welcome to Chronicles of the High Powered Female CEO. This is episode four, and I'm just so excited about what we've created so far and the community that we're forming around women who are successful, who are affluent, who are building wealth and, releasing some of the walls and the judgment and the pressure that currently still exists in our climate. And today we're bringing on Holly. Welcome, Holly.

Holly Kjar 00:51

Hi! Thank you. Thank you for having me

Melisa Keenan 00:54

So glad to have you. So introduce yourself, how do people typically know you? who do people typically know you as?

Holly Kjar 01:01

So my name is Holly and people typically know me as the creator and owner of Maeband, which is a maternity band. Then, temporarily transformed your regular jeans into maternity jeans. It's typically a bestseller on Amazon, one of the top 10 in the maternity band, like belly band category. People also typically know me as the mom of KJAR crew, which is a YouTube channel, with about 600,000 subscribers right now.

Melisa Keenan 01:34

So cool. So this is where I want to just dive right in and talk about how it's been for you forming a 7+ figure business and being a mom of six, right?

Holly Kjar 01:53

Yeah. Mama six.

Melisa Keenan 01:55

So, tell us, I would just be interested in hearing even just a little of your story, like, you know, forming the business and stuff.

Holly Kjar 02:05

Yeah, sure. So we had three kids and then with my fourth pregnancy, was when that was in 2012. And that was actually when I created the Maeband while I was pregnant, just wanting to wear my own jeans. And then my daughter that I was pregnant with, her name is Maylee. And so I kind of like-named it after her is Maeband, you know, belly band. And then, like worked really hard, you know, went through a lot of struggles. During that time I was homeschooling my boys. Cause I was a teacher before that. But I had, quit that when I had my third child, I was like, oh, this is like, I don't want to be away, you know, from the home when I have kids and like small kids.

So I decided to stay home. But I think just being home got me restless and I first went to homeschooling. And then after that came up with this business idea and really kind of felt inspired and led by God. It was like a lot of it was prayer and in like how I was going to start it and what to name it. And, so yeah, I created that and then I was homeschooling and like creating this business, and then my husband had his business and then I was helping him with his business for a few years, doing my business, homeschooling. And then he decided a couple of years ago he was done like it, his business was plowing and landscaping.

And he was like, I'm getting older. Like I'm done. Like I need to. So that was a lot of prayers like, where do we go next? And then we felt drawn and led to start this YouTube channel. And so we did that a couple of years ago and just like it never, never really like filmed anything, never edited a video. Like we didn't really know what we were doing and my husband started it and maybe I was able to support that transition. So. That we were able to start cause mean, we had no income from that YouTube for about a year. And so maybe that helped us, you know, give up his job and be able to take it that way.

And now YouTube is really successful. I mean, they're both really successful, and two more kids since we started YouTube, it's six kids, and yeah. A lot of fun craziness.

“We just feel such a responsibility to our children and to our husbands, and wanting to be fully there for them. But then I also think that's why we create these businesses, so we can support our husband and children and have that family life that we want.”

Melisa Keenan 04:40

I am like, you know, it's so easy to say in one sentence we homeschooled and I helped him with my business and I grew, or I helped him with his business and I grew my business. Like, you could say that in one sentence, what is like, there is a lot in that sentence.

Holly Kjar 04:55

It really is. A lot of tears and sweat and fear and excitement and joy and yeah. So many emotions going into that. And a lot of times.

Melisa Keenan 05:12

You had shared before we started actually typing here that you haven't felt too much judgment from people outside of yourself, but you have a lot from yourself, juggling the mom and career woman.

Holly Kjar 05:29

Oh yeah. That, yeah, definitely, I think. I don't think I've had too much judgment outside because I homeschool my kids. So they are home all the time, but then there are people outside that aren't in the house and don't really see what's going on. And, like, iit's hard juggling that, you know, I'm always feeling guilty.

Like I'm not giving me, you know, my little one's enough time and attention or cause my youngest are ages two and three. And so, you know, I pay every morning, my 13-year-old she's homeschooled. So I pay her every morning to watch the kids so I can get work done, like the younger ones. And then she does her schooling in the afternoon, but there's so much guilt and hiring and like bringing someone else outside of the home in.

And I know that that's something I need to do. And I've been working on the last few months. Because it's just like, it's so overwhelming. Especially on filming days, you know, where my 13 year old she's part of filming and, you know, that's kinda like her job as well when we're doing like family filming for our YouTube channel. And then on those days, it's really hard for me to be there and support and filming, and then also watch the two younger ones. But that is just like having so much guilt. I do not want to bring someone in to like, love on my babies. For some reason I feel like it's okay if my daughter is doing it, it's okay if I pay her to love on my babies. But if I hire this stranger and bring them, her or him into my house, I don't know. There's just, yeah, there's a lot of guilt in that.

Melisa Keenan 07:12

I feel like any mother watching right now knows what you're expressing. I know I do. I have four kids and it is a constant juggling act just the heaviness I can feel in your heart as you share that. Yeah. Thanks for just being willing to be so vulnerable with that. Do you feel, what do you feel like an ideal scenario would be there needs to be like seven of you or something?

“But even then when you see all these women, showing the places they struggle in, they're still so successful. And you're like, oh, I need to be successful like that. You're still like comparing always. Always comparing yourself.”

Holly Kjar 07:45

Exactly. I, that was one of like, when I, as I've been looking for people, one of my, like ads was like looking for a clone of myself because I just want someone there that can like have two extra hands and just, you know, do, and, you know, maybe like, I don't want someone that's always going to be watching my babies because I want to watch my babies too.

And, you know, I want someone that will sometimes watch my babies as needed, but also than sometimes clean as I need that. And sometimes make dinners as I need that. And, there's just like, You know, sometimes work on Maeband with me as I need to create new, like social media and TikToks and like reels. And like I'm only I'm juggling that. And I feel like I'm so behind on that because we do so much recording and videoing for our YouTube channel. And, you know, sometimes it'd be nice to have help with that. And then like our YouTube social media is just like, we don't put enough time into that. And so it's just like so many things and I feel like. They're all happening at once. And none of them is really getting the best of me or my full and complete attention. And like they're growing and they're doing well, but it's hard. Cause I like, I'm kind of more like, I like to focus on things and just be fully present. And right now I'm not feeling like fully present anywhere. I'm just juggling everything.

Melisa Keenan 09:11

I think this idea of it's so hard for me to hire help. And it's so hard for me to accept help is a theme that I hear all the time in these interviews. And as I've worked with clients where, we know what benefits that would give us, but there are so many barriers. What do you think is the source or the root of that difficulty for women? Like why we shouldn't need the help and we, and we feel like we can't do it. We can't get that help.

Holly Kjar 09:49

Yeah. I think we just feel such a responsibility to our children and to, you know, our husbands and like, Wanting to be fully there for them. But then I also think that's why we create these businesses. So we can support our husband and children and like have that family life that we want.

Melisa Keenan 10:10

That's it right? And no one says that to women. That's the thing that I find fascinating is you know, like, oh, you're doing all this to support your family. That's amazing, Holly. Right? Instead, you know, you definitely would hear a man you know, with those kinds of compliments, like, oh, you spent all the time away from her, from your family so that you can build this life for your family.

Like good job. You're such a good father, but when it's a woman, you don't hear them saying that. And I feel like let's say, I'm saying that to you right now when I'm saying it to me and anyone who's watching, are these the same values that are motivating us to do what we do.

“God just wants to support and love and help, but you still feel that sense of I want to do everything for you, everything that you want or need or ask.”

Holly Kjar 10:58

You're right. You're right. Exactly. It's so true. And like, I don't feel other judgment from people on me, but I mean, you see that in the outside world. And so that's where you judge yourself.

Melisa Keenan 11:14

And I internalized, so I called this internalized misogyny. Because when we were born from the time we were born, it was like, you're not enough. You're going to have to work really hard in this world. And you're going to have to prove yourself and, you know, then Renee Brown's work. I think really gave some are you familiar with Renee Brown? Oh, she's great. She did some research and found that even in, well, let's see, it was like five years ago, right? Even five years ago, the main pressure that women felt was to be small and meek and like don't ruffle feathers. And then the last one was, do it all and never let them see you sweat. And like, these are the voices of our shame, just like on us. And that sucks.

So we're breathing that in from every corner. So of course we internalize it. Of course, that becomes our own internal dialogue of like, you're not enough. You need to work harder. Why do you need help? You, you know, just all the things.

Holly Kjar 12:20

Exactly. And then you see it on social media too, you know, all these, and I definitely think that that's been changing lately where when women are opening up more on social media and like showing, you know, the places where they struggle in. But even then, like when you see all these women, like showing the places they struggle in, they're still so successful. And you're like, oh, I need to be, you know, be successful like that. You're still like comparing always, you know, like always comparing yourself to others and the people that are better.

Melisa Keenan 12:51

You're so open and I appreciate this so much about you. So I want to ask you this question and I always tell my interviewees, don't share more than you feel comfortable sharing, but I'm curious, like, what do you feel like is the biggest How do I want to ask this, like the biggest, like kind of driver's voice or like the drill in your back voice about, you know, you should be what do you think that is like when you're comparing yourself or, you know, whatever, like what do you feel like that main kind of pain is?

“Has been really nice to just take that step back and, and have someone else telling you you're doing great.”

Holly Kjar 13:30

Oh, like, I don't even know if I could. If I know it's just like inside, just always nagging at me to be better and like, and you know, and people watching, especially where I am, you know, on YouTube and I am doing this like there are so many people like watching and, like cheering me on. I don't want to let them down. I don't want to let my kids down. I don't want to let my husband down. I don't want to let me down. I don't want to like God down. Like, it's just like everything. And I know God's not like that. Like, God just wants to support and love and help, but you still feel that sense of like, I want to do everything for you, you know, everything that you want or need or ask.

So it's just, I just think it's kind of like everywhere. I don't know if it's one specific thing for me.

Melisa Keenan 14:34

I think so many relate to what you're sharing right now. It's like carrying the whole world on your shoulders. Yeah. Wow. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Thank you for sharing so openly. Especially because I would guess, and I haven't watched your YouTube.

I can't wait to go like subscribe from the next fan, but I would guess people have probably even seen you and thought the same thing, you know like she's so perfect. Like you know, so to just show up and be so real. What a gift.

Holly Kjar 15:11

Thank you.

Melisa Keenan 15:12

So okay. I like to finish these interviews with one last little kinda like peek into just who you are and your heart. What would you say? And this is just a fun question. What would you say has been the most fulfilling, one of the most fulfilling moments of your life?

Holly Kjar 15:34

Oh, my gosh. Like, I didn't even know, one thing that's is so hard to pick. Just like family being there with family and working with my family and like reaching success with my family. For me, it's all about my family. And my kids, and I think that's why it's so hard to juggle and like that balance and that guilt, but that definitely is like, yeah, that's super fulfilling for me to like, have this business and like do YouTube with my kids and be able to like, see them grow and see them like understand, you know, and work for things and be together and like our common goals. It's super fun.

Melisa Keenan 16:34

Ah, I love that. So what it really is, right? It's not an either, or I think in my experience, I relate with what you're saying, where we can’t compartmentalize the parts of ourselves, because if we do, it's like somebody has said this to me, it's like adding empty zeros. Like you add zeros to the end of your income, but they're empty. Right. But like being able to incorporate, and it doesn't have to always look like, you know, a family YouTube channel. I love that for you. It's that? That's the thing. So go, I'm like sitting here thinking my family was just gentle. Being able to say, no, I am all of these things and I'm going to step into that.

And it's going to look different than everyone else. But I refuse to be just the business woman and then just the mother, it's like all the things because the greatest fulfillment is creating success with your family. That's at once mother and a business owner.

“For me, it's all about my family and my kids. And I think that's why it's so hard to juggle that balance and that guilt, but that definitely that’s super fulfilling for me.”

Holly Kjar 17:44

And it is, it's really awesome. It’s fun. Like it's everything, you know, it's every emotion it's not always perfect. And it's, it can definitely be hard, you know, being a mother to your kids and also like an employee, you know, an employer of your children. So. There's balance in there too.

Melisa Keenan 18:05

I bet. I know my husband works in my company. He's our CFO. And is that same thing as like, ah, okay. I need to just put on the CEO hat for a minute and tell you some things that come across when I'm being the loving wife.

Thanks so much, Holly, any last thing that you would want to share from what we've talked about so far?

Holly Kjar 18:33

I don't think so. Like I've enjoyed it and it's been really awesome. Being able to, you know, talk to you and just even just reminding myself, you know, you definitely, it's always good to like, take a step back and remind yourself. Cause you're just like, when, as women, like we're always going, going, going. And so this interview has been really nice to just take that step back and, and have someone else like. Tell you you're doing great.

Melisa Keenan 19:05

So, so glad. Good. Well, thank you so much, Holly. And thank you to everyone who's watching. Don't miss an interview. Go and subscribe. We'll put the link in the comments too. To the whole bank and database. And it's my intention with these interviews that we do create a community where even planning I'm co-collaborating with Wendy Whitelaw and we're planning a retreat in October for interviewees, and those who want to feel drawn kind of you know, judgment, free space where we can actually just enjoy and embody our richness and our own divinity, like all together without the judgment and the walls and the things The families are going to be invited because it's not compartmentalized.

Holly Kjar 19:53

So that's amazing.

Melisa Keenan 19:55

So please come and, you know, stay connected to the community and stay connected to this space. And don't miss an interview and thanks again. So, so much Holly for being with us today.

Holly Kjar 20:04

Thank you.