"They told me I would NEVER be able to..."

Chronicles of the High Powered Female CEO - Episode 6 with Christine Minh Minh Garner. Truly the transformation this woman has made in her life is incredible.

#FemaleCEOChronicles

INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPTION

Melisa Keenan 00:21 

Welcome everyone! This is episode 6 of Chronicles of the High-Powered Female CEO. And today I am interviewing Christine. Welcome, Christine.

Christine Minh-Minh Garner 00:32

Hi!

Melisa Keenan 00:35

And let's just jump right in. So, who do people typically know you as?

Christine Minh-Minh Garner 00:40 

Okay, so people know me as the owner of a commercial security company. And they also know me as a retreat host. I host retreats for women in business and in Costa Rica. And they also know me as a strength coach, I coached teams and organizations on how it is to leverage their people strengths in order to achieve their company goals.

Melisa Keenan 01:07 

This is so cool. So, Christine, and I have been friends now for what, like six months or something.

Christine Minh-Minh Garner 01:15 

Like 8 months!

“We're not meant to do this alone. There's a reason why we're all on this planet together.”

Melisa Keenan 01:18 

But who’s counting? I love it! I'm often like, how do you do it all? Like I see everything that you do. And it's funny, you've reflected the same thing to me. So, I guess we're in good company. So Christine, I love to just drop right in and get really real, the intention of these interviews is so that women who are listening who are working on generating massive success and impact or who have generated massive success and impact, don't feel so alone. So, it's a peek behind the curtain a little bit, if you will, because I know that the top can feel lonely. So why don't we just start there and talk about. You had said, you never expected to talk to feel so lonely. Let's just talk about that.

Christine Minh-Minh Garner 02:09 

Thank you. So, and I love how your intro even says, you know, we're not meant to do this alone. There's a reason why we're all on this planet together. Right? So, um, I just remember, well, let me just back up a little bit and say, you know, I started this commercial security company over 10 years ago. And it was already lonely because I was one of the only females, females salespeople. And also, then I, as our company grew, I was the head of the sales department, right, and I'm a female in a commercial security company.

I mean, I'm literally selling cameras and fire alarm systems and access control and doing all of the things and working walking these sites, with general contractors and men, and so that's already feeling lonely. But you know, the first three years, I really sucked at it, I made less than minimum wage until my accountant was like, “You really suck at this, you could be making more money at McDonald's. So, now's the time to either, you know, close your doors, get a real paying job, or go out and make this profitable”. And I was like, put the fetch Do you think I've been doing? I've been trying to make this profitable. And, but that's not the point. That's when I knew I really needed to make a huge change in my life.

Because at the time, I was on the verge of divorce, all we did was fight about money and time, I was struggling with mommy guilt. Because I barely spent time with my child. I was putting in daycare, not even knowing if I could afford to pay the daycare bill and my health I just put it on the backburner. I just always thought, “Oh, I'm gonna, once I actually get this business off the ground, I'm gonna start taking better care of my body”. Well, that's a really bad strategy, y'all. So, I got a coach who helped me hold me accountable to doing what it is I do best. And that's connecting with people helping people solve problems.

“And then once you make that kind of money, you when you have like big, big opportunities, big achievements, there's like, oh my gosh, who am I going to call? I want to, I want to celebrate with somebody”

And over, it took a year and a half from that time to go from making less than minimum wage to breaking the six figure mark a year I was like, over the freaking moon, and then continue to work on myself and continue to work in my strengths. And within a year and a half. I was making six figures a month, consistently in my business and it continues to grow. And so, I'm really, really, really grateful that what has come along the journey is, especially for me and where I'm living. I live in Idaho Falls, Idaho, and women here there are a lot of women that choose to stay home and I have so much respect for stay-at-home moms because it is a freaking hard job. Like I truly don't have the patience to stay home with my kids all day. Like I'm a better mom, when I'm working on what it is I'm super passionate about during the day and then coming home to them and just like really relishing as a mother that time that I have with them. So, I don't want to disrespect at all.

But a lot of the women here are stay-at-home moms. And if they're working out of the home, it's like typically like a part-time job or something like that. But for me, I was working full time in this business that I had started. And that was lonely enough. And then once you make that kind of money, you when you have like big, big opportunities, big achievements, there's like, “oh my gosh, who am I going to call?” I want to, I want to celebrate with somebody. And of course, I can celebrate my husband, but it's like, you want this like this, like feminine energy, this love that only a girlfriend can give you, you know what I mean? And, but I had anybody, because I always thought, “Okay, well, I do have some friends at work.” But at the same time, I don't want them to feel like I'm boasting. And that they have to compare themselves to me because that's not what this is about. And so that was a very, very lonely time. For me.

Melisa Keenan 05:57 

That's so huge. The celebration piece, I have found that in my own life as well. And I have felt like to be able to actually have friends that I call brag buddies to actually be able to look eye-to-eye with someone and feel their genuine excitement for you. And what you've created is a valuable and precious commodity. Right?

Christine Minh-Minh Garner 06:26 

Oh sister, tell me about it. It just feels so good. When just like, there's no comparison. It's just like, I see the amazing awesomeness in you. And I am so overjoyed for you. And when it's this reciprocating energy and this reciprocating love and support, it's like heaven on earth.

Melisa Keenan 06:49 

And that must be why you're so good at that, like you have such a way to I have thought that many times like oh my gosh, Christine says the most lovely things. It makes me feel so like I am and feel so good about myself. And that must be why you are that way because you have known what it feels like to not feel like you can receive that or that there isn't anyone there to you know, I've been thinking a lot lately about the crabs in the bucket. Do you know about the crabs in the bucket?

Christine Minh-Minh Garner 07:19 

I think I've heard something like that. But I don't remember.

“I lived a life of extreme fear and manipulation. They taught me that I would never have the chance to graduate from high school, go to college, have a family or career.”

Melisa Keenan 07:23 

So when crabs get trapped in a bucket, they can climb out like they have, you know, great little things that they could even stack on top of each other and get out. But when one tries to climb out all the other crabs grab at it and drag it down to the bottom. Isn't that what it feels like? Like, oh my gosh. So, when before you and I went live we were talking about maybe kind of where you have come from when you were at the bottom of the bucket? How many different things did people tell you to never? And I think that for those of you watching, this is going to give your perspective on how far Christine has come. And I hope that you'll listen thinking like, then therefore what is possible for me. So, what were some of the things that they told you to never?

Christine Minh-Minh Garner 08:25 

Oh, so many things. So, they told me to never make friends. They told me to never talk about what I believe. They told me to never make plans. And in order for you to understand why I needed to go back into my background.

So, my parents are refugees from the Vietnam War. I'm 100% Vietnamese. I was very blessed to be born here in the States. But my mom and dad both had generational trauma from, you know, they're literally escaping the Vietnam War. And my mom was very, very blessed. And my dad was very blessed to be able to make it here to America and start their family here. But you know it back there. They're like in Vietnam, they're like, Okay, this is the time you got to go, because you know, the communists are going to take over and we need somebody in our family to leave so that we can you guys can generate income in the US and send it home to our starving families. So, they were able to escape. And it was such a huge accomplishment for them. And when I was seven years old, I lived a pretty normal childhood up until I was seven.

And my mom came home from work one day and she told my dad, she said, “I met a man who proclaims to be a prophet of God. And he is prophesying that the end of the world is coming in a few short months. So, if you love me and you love the kids, you're going to help me sell this house and we're going to follow the Prophet.” And my dad was like, no way this is crazy. This is like Waco, Texas crap, but my mom was like “no, like, God's giving us a chance to survive just like he did when we escaped from Vietnam”, and my dad didn't believe, and neither did my four older brothers. And so, we went from a family of eight. So, there were six kids to a family of I was, I was left with my mom and my little sister. So, there's three of us, and then the boys, four older brothers with my dad. So, they stayed there. And we blindly followed the prophet to Pocatello, Idaho, the land of milk and honey. Surprising, right?

And I'm, so I lived a life of extreme fear and manipulation. They taught me that I would never have the chance to graduate from high school, go to college, have a family or career. So never plan for any of those things. I was supposed to die at a very young age, the first date they ever gave me was August of 1993. And I was like, wow, I could die before I turn eight because I turned eight in August. And I was like, I wonder if I'm gonna die before I turn eight or after I turn eight, you know, and it was just like, and then every time you know, August of 1993, came and went, and we're like, looking at the profit, like, what's going on? How come it didn't happen? He said “it's because you obeyed me. So well, you did everything I told you to do. And so, God spared you. So just continue to do what I tell you to do.” And it went on like that for 10 years, I lived in that cult for 10 years before I escaped.

Melisa Keenan 11:28 

I mean, I've heard you tell this story before, and I just am still so overcome with emotion, Christine, like do you see who you are? I feel like to have gone through what you went through. And then to have created what you've created with a beautiful family and then amazing business. And thank you for taking a deep breath. And like receiving that because like…

Christine Minh-Minh Garner 11:59 

I feel so blessed; I can't tell you how many blessings have been on the road along this journey. I am so very blessed. And that is why I feel. And I don't want to even call it an obligation because an obligation feels like it's something that is a burden to me, it is a blessing and an opportunity for me to share what it is that I know, and share my love and my support and my empowerment to women who need it, who are really looking to break through those limiting beliefs and those fears that people have imposed on you and that you have internalized in yourself to really go back and embrace that past to start that journey of healing their past, owning who they are in their present so that they can create their most fulfilling future, it is such a blessing for me to be able to do that, because of where I've been. So, my pain has become my purpose.

“It's transformational in every way. And I'm really grateful”

Melisa Keenan 13:04 

It’s so amazing. And I love like in one way that you and I really align, I think is in this, you know, really claiming the reality that we can have whatever we want, like we can create our reality. And so, you know, your retreats are not just some little like, you know, pay $1,000 barely get by at the retreat or whatever it is like luxury on steroids this retreat. I will be there one day.

Christine Minh-Minh Garner 13:33 

You will, I know you will. I'm just so excited. I want to be able to whisk women away from their everyday responsibilities. Because we all have different roles that we play. And oftentimes, we spend more time planning out a one-week vacation than we do planning out our entire life. And also recalibrating, right, even though some of us, you know, maybe the top 2% of us have actually planned out our life. But how often do we actually recalibrate? How often do we actually look at that life plan and say, you know, what does this still really align with who I am? And the journey that I want to embark on? And if not, let me just adjust this according to what truly aligns with me, what truly aligns with my purpose, and how it is I can live it each day. So, I'm just grateful. It's Yes, it is. It's transformational in every way. And I'm really grateful

Melisa Keenan 14:29 

I'm just curious and I always say you know, share just as openly as you feel comfortable to but, do you find like that you have… So a pattern that I've seen in myself and in a lot of clients is that once after we've been through such hard hard things. Once we start generating a lot of success and like experiencing our ideal life. We get triggered like Do you find that? And if you do, like, how do you navigate that, because it's almost like the success and like stuff makes you even more afraid that it's gonna get ripped all away or something like that.

Christine Minh-Minh Garner 15:12 

Hmm. It's a really interesting perspective. I don't know if that's exactly how it is, I feel but I definitely feel triggered when I see horrendous things happening in the world. And like, for example, Ukraine, what's happening in Ukraine right now is really tearing my heart apart. And I've never had a war. Just, I mean, we've been in multiple wars since I've been born, you know, but this one really hits home to me. And I think it's because I have a higher level of understanding and a higher level of connection to humanity. And so, this has really, I could either, and I knew that this would happen, the very morning that Russia invaded Ukraine, that very morning, I started feeling my light dimming.

And I have gone through this route of feeling so much guilt, for living a life that is so abundant, a life where I have so much freedom, that I can be who I want to be. Do what I want to do, whenever I want to do it. And then it makes me feel like who am I? Who am I to have been born in this country, of so much abundance, have amazing opportunities? And who am I, and that I have been triggered over and over by events like this? And but I had to realize, you know, I'm going to be sad, I'm going to allow myself to feel this deep grief.

But the best thing that I can do, for humanity, for Ukraine, for these people, is to shine my light so bright, that I continue to be abundant, that I have these opportunities to provide drones, provide meals, help these orphans, I have the means to do this. In addition to that, I have the know-how to teach other women to create this level of abundance to where instead of being triggered by guilt, because you have more than other people, you get triggered by it to be so empowered to use this that you have to help other people. And that is incredible. It's incredibly gratifying. Like it's incredibly fulfilling to know that I have the power to help people. I am not just a sitting duck. So, I hope that answers your question.

Melisa Keenan 17:52 

Yeah. You know what I was thinking, as you were saying that is? Your ancestors? Like? I am sure you feel what you feel so deeply because of what your ancestors have been through?

Christine Minh-Minh Garner 18:13 

Yes, yes. What my mom's been through. Yeah, my mom has just such an incredible story. And one day, I'm going to write it in a book. But, you know, she escaped the Vietnam War. She was nine months pregnant at the time because at the time, people were making it to Vietnam and or to America and four days, but that was if they had enough fuel. And they also had enough food and they had a working compass. But they were at sea for 14 days, because their compass broke, they ran out of fuel, they ran out of food.

And they had 122 people on a 25-foot boat. Yeah, so it got to the point where there is desperation like who's the first person going to die? And that person we need to eat in order to survive. You know, this. I mean, my parents went through such horrendous catastrophic experiences. And I've heard these things since I was a child. I understand how wars ravage not only the human body, the human psyche, and hope, you know, and even the ability to feel joy, or feel like I if I'm feeling joy, is am I worthy? And so yeah, I've grown up with understanding and knowing how it is that war ravages people and it is hard, that trigger is real.

To say, Hey, how come I wasn't the first person in the family to be born because my brother was born in Malaysia. They actually landed in Malaysia 14 days later. I mean, they're still In Asia, is that not crazy? They never made it to the American continent. So how come I wasn't born in Malaysia, I didn't have to go through all of the diseases, the viruses that my brother had to go through. Instead, I was the fifth child, and they had already made it to America at that point, you know what I mean? Like, there's all these things like, why am I worthy? Why was I chosen?

Melisa Keenan 20:25 

Wow. That makes so much sense to feel that, and then to be able to, like, you know, to see the other perspective to see that, like, this is how you are the light, this is how you are. I even think like redeeming your ancestors in your family line, and the ancestors that are no longer on the planet. I know, I feel so much strength from my ancestors, like they are like, because as we heal, like what's in us, it heals them in ways that they couldn't figure it out or couldn't heal themselves. So I just like, I felt that as you were saying all of that, Christine.

“And I'm in the process of breaking generational trauma, you know, but that has been one of my most fulfilling experiences.”

Christine Minh-Minh Garner 21:02 

Thank you! It is, it is so powerful. And I'm grateful. I'm grateful for all the experiences that I've had. And I'm grateful to be able to impart that and share that with women.

Melisa Keenan 21:14 

I think it's so beautiful how you open a retreat, and retreat business, because it is like bringing your heart forward like here you are running this very masculine business with a, you know, in a male-dominated industry and everything and bring your heart forward and say, and I'm also going to host these amazing retreats.

Christine Minh-Minh Garner 21:40

Yes, yes. But I although own the commercial security company, I'm super grateful that my team, they run it all now, I actually stepped out of the business about two years ago. And now all I do is I get to see the books, which is so lovely. And I also do training with them. I do my strengths-based training with my team, but other than that my time is spent on the retreats and coaching. So, I do coaching and masterminds and retreats. And that's really my passion and my joy.

Melisa Keenan 22:15 

So cool. Okay, last question that I want to ask you. And I've asked everyone in this series this question, just because it helps us see you know, you a little bit deeper on a different level, what's one of the most fulfilling experiences you've had in your life?

Christine Minh-Minh Garner 22:32 

Oh, God has really good. One, okay, you did say one of the most fulfilling.

Melisa Keenan 22:43 

That’s what everyone says, yeah.

Christine Minh-Minh Garner 22:45 

One of the most, because there's been so many, I mean, I think, um, I'll give two. Because I was told that I would never have a child, I'd never. I mean, I'd never graduate, from high school, or college, or have a family or career. And I never planned for any of those things. So, when the blessings came, when I did meet a man who I was, so like, our values aligned, so compatible, like, yeah, I don't want to go another day without you in my life.

And then, five years later, we got pregnant with my first, and having that child in my arms, I felt so blessed because I never ever thought that I would have that blessing of being a mother having a child. And I'm in the process of breaking generational trauma, you know, but that has been one of my most fulfilling experiences.

And then one of my last retreats, I just love gathering women, women in business, purpose-driven women, heart-centered women, who are so aligned with being so empowering, uplifting, and holding each other accountable to living a life that truly fulfills us. And when I see that, it's just, it's magic. I can't even describe it any better than its magic, when women combined to do that, and when we have a full week together in a tropical paradise, and we don't have all of these other worries and stresses and we can truly dream together. It's a miracle, really. So those have been two of my most fulfilling experiences.

Melisa Keenan 24:35 

I love that. Okay. Tell us about, you got to tell us as we wrap up about the like writing something and then the horseback riding to the waterfall thing. Tell us about that.

“I am a firm believer that in order for us to create the most fulfilling future, we really do have to face the demons of our past.”

Christine Minh-Minh Garner 24:48 

So, the theme of the retreat is embracing your past and owning your present so that you can create your most fulfilling future because I am a firm believer that in order for us to create the most fulfilling future, we really do have to face the demons of our past. And so, embracing is a choice. Okay, healing takes time. And so, but the way that we do the embracing part on retreat is we do equine therapy. So, some of the most magnificent horses in Costa Rica. And we have an equine therapist who actually walks us through this incredible transformational experience, because oftentimes, like women who've kept our trauma inside for so long, have never spoken to a human about it.

And so, it's really difficult to do that for the first time with another human being. But to do it with a horse, it's just it's so incredible, so much deeper than you can ever get a first time with a therapist. And then this horse takes us to this incredible waterfall. And this is really symbolic, we are literally washing away our wounds in this incredible paradise, this space, this water that is so cleansing, so healing, and we can start a new.

Melisa Keenan 26:09 

I do love that. That's the reason I will be there one day

Christine Minh-Minh Garner 26:18 

Thank you. I know, I know. I'm so excited. Every person who experiences is like oh my gosh. Incredible. So yes, happy tears.

Melisa Keenan 26:29 

Christine, thank you so much for taking the time to share your heart with us and share your story with us. And I just know, I heard your story. We'll hear it. So, you guys, reach out to Christine, if you're interested in her retreat. And if you're really interested, don't just tell her how much you want to go on a retreat. Right?

Christine Minh-Minh Garner 26:53 

Yes, yes.

Melisa Keenan 26:55 

And also, we are creating a community with the Chronicles of the High-Powered Female CEO. So, we'll put a link in the comments. But please go and register for all the interviews so that you never miss an interview when we go live together. And you know, so that you can continue to receive the validation and understanding and support and even connect with other women who are on this show. And it's our intention actually to have our own retreat in October where we're probably going to go to Mexico and have women get together without the walls and the barriers and the judgments and just enjoy the amazing success and impact that we've created on the planet. So definitely stay in the loop bear and thank you again so much, Christine. Bye, everyone.

Christine Minh-Minh Garner 27:44

Bye bye!